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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a weatherman's evil twin? A doppler-ganger"

"Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was assaulted."

"So desperate for some action, I might just crash a frat party and roofie my own drink tonight."

"FIRST MONSTER: I'm going to a party tonight. SECOND MONSTER: Oh are you? FIRST MONSTER: Yes I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends."

"Hey, I'm a girl. I ignore nice guys, chase douche bags, and then complain about it"

"why are there fences around graveyards? people are just dying to get in there these days."

"I bought a blowup doll today, but I won't blow her up until tomorrow. I don't want to seem desperate."

"Before firemen rescue cats from trees they always take a photo and that's where 'hang in there, baby!' posters come from."

"If you don't like the fire....don't tickle the dragon."

"Why did the old lady fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well"