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Joke of the Day

"Went hunting with Willie Nelson and we each got a turkey. Now that's what I call killing 2 birds with one stoner."

"How did the witch almost lose her baby? She didn't take it far enough into the woods."

"""I've changed my mind."" ""Thank God! Does it work better now?"""

"What does a gun, a fire extinguisher, and a condom have in common? Its better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it"

"What's the difference between jam and jelly I can't jam my cock up your ass"

"How is a woman like a bar? Liquor in the front, poker in the back ( )"

"I learned a very important lesson at Mount Rushmore. The best presidents were stoned."

"People tell me filling animals with helium is bad.. But i say whatever floats your goat."

"What do thesauruses eat for breakfast? Synonym rolls."

"What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand? A microwave."