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Joke of the Day

"*job interview HR: Can you name one of your strengths? Me: Sure. I'll call it Giselle."

"I like to push the envelope because it's probably a bill, and eventually it'll fall off the table."

"You are my fan because u blow me away."

"Giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails."

"Why is the Flying Spaghetti Monster made of Pasta? Because ""made of bread"" was already taken by Jesus."

"I saw myself naked in the mirror. And now my hand isn't in the mood."

"What's the difference between a jew and a boy-scout? Boy-scout comes back from the camp"

"Why do pigs run from medicine? They hate getting cured."

"I am angry but not like really angry. More like Facebook angry where I call you letters of the alphabet. You F'ing B."

"USERS: you're alienating the people who actually use your product TWITTER: likes are now florps USERS: what TWITTER: timeline goes sideways"