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Joke of the Day

"I went to buy a 'Where's Wally?' book today but couldn't find one anywhere. Well played, Wally. Well played."

"What kind of chips do you eat in the bath? Shower cream and onion."

"Ex-wife died in a car wreck yesterday. Didn't send flowers, thought might be weird to the family. That and didnt know other drivers address."

"What's brown and rhymes with ""snoop""? Dr. Dre"

"Gf vs Wife Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes."

"Your stick-figure family of 6 really isn't necessary. No one sees your minivan and mistakes you for wild and single."

"Did you hear about that mad cow disease? A cow to another: ""Did you hear about that mad cow disease? Makes cows go completely insane!"" The other cow: ""Good thing I'm a helicopter!"""

"Waitress: would you like another drink? Me: Are you new?"

"Why did the monkey trip over the branch? Because the Chimp-Can't -See"

"I want a real relationship; not a Facebook one"