61209

Joke of the Day

"Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth."

"Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him ""a promising Rookie""."

"i show up at the range wearing a t-shirt that says ""I Wont Wear The Earplugs"" and i m promptly directed back to my car by staff members"

"Ticket Clerk: Enjoy the film! Me: U too! TC: Really? You'll take me with u? Me: I didn't mean.. TC: Oh, I see Me: I'm sor TC: [sobs] JUST GO"

"How did the sun die? It went to Detroit."

"What do grandparents smell like? ""Depends"""

"Hey, I'm a girl. I ignore nice guys, chase douche bags, and then complain about it"

"What do you get when you eat too much shitty pizza? Pizzeria"

"What does an alcoholic ghost drink? BOO'S."

"""Hey, did you see that article about cats invading the internet?"" ""Yeah, I reddit."""