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Joke of the Day

"People think stage diving is dangerous, but not me. Because humans are made out of 95% water. So the audience is 5% away from being a pool."

Next Joke
 
"What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Who eats parsley?"
"What does a Astronaut that likes to play Basketball eat for Breakfast Space Jam I hope this hasn't been posted yet"
"What does a squid sheriff form? An octoposse!"
"Me: ""All my friends are getting married."" Grandma: ""Yeah? All my friends are dying."""
"a pizza is basicaly a real-time pie chart of how much pizza i am going to eat"
"What do gyms and prisons have in common? They both have ripped assholes"
"I'm at the age where ""pop, lock, and drop"" is about my knee giving out instead of dance moves"
"A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond."
"Told a homeless guy sorry I was saving to buy a house. He got mad and threw his cup of change at me, so now I'm... $3.75 closer to my dream!"