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Joke of the Day
"What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other? Isaiah!"
Next Joke
"So Kanye West said he is an intellectual who doesn't read books. Which I get because I am an an athlete that rarely moves."
"[interview for an accounting job] Your resume says your greatest strength is using idioms. How can that help in this job? ""You do the math"""
"If you cry every day in your relationship.. sit down, take a deep breath & ask yourself, ""Am I dating a Human or an Onion?"""
"Nurse: You need to eat or you can't have your pain meds. Me: Do the thing. Nurse: Me: Nurse: *holding fork* [sigh]*makes airplane noise*"
"""I'm all up for sex with handcuffs..."" ""...I just think a little warning would have been nice, Officer."""
"What's a Grecian Urn? About 2 bucks an hour depending on what the current minimum wage is."
"Snow's so racist."
"If you marry someone a few years older, one thing they love is when any classic rock song comes on and you ask ""Is this Led Zeppelin?"""
"12 ways to cut down on clickbait! This wasn't one of them"