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Joke of the Day

"What did one boob say to the other boob Hey man, if we don't get some support soon they're gonna think we're nuts!"

"*points to person jogging outside through the snow* ""Look kids, a lunatic"""

"My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I am extremely handsome and too many girls want me She said something else about my chronic lying disorder but I wasn't really listening"

"Vincent van Gogh called... He wants his ear back... so that he can hear you on the telephone."

"What is Mary short for? She ain't got no legs!"

"Why are Alabama weddings so small? They've only gotta invite one family"

"Shoutout to Batman for being a true American and proving the only superpower you need is money."

"Q: How many Ethiopians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to change it and two to squabble over who gets to eat the packaging."

"If I could really LMAO, I could get into these jeans my mom has saved for me since high school."