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Joke of the Day

"There are so many uses for toilet paper rolls... but you have to go through a lot of shit to use them."

"People tell me soup is better with flavor cubes. But I don't put a lot of stock in that. Because of it, though, I was the victim of a lot of boullion."

"I hope I will get a girlfriend before I die. It turns out I get an eternal life"

"A few dad jokes a customer told me. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend? Meet Patty."

"I don't like drug tests... They're not my cup of pee."

"A lot of people like to smoke ciggarettes after sex. But you can't buy ciggarettes until you're 16. So I have to get them for both of us"

"Why did the chicken dance with a fig? It couldn't get a date."

"What did the space between two tiles say? I AM GROUT"

"Had to replace the condom I carry around in my wallet yesterday Just heard they have a 5 year expiry date."

"What breed of dog loves to take a bath? A shampoodle"