60314

Joke of the Day

"why should you be afraid if you see a bull chasing after you? Well. I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't want something that horny chasing me!"

"People who say losing weight is ""just math"" clearly have no idea how far out of my way I go to avoid math."

"Can we please stop referring to them as ""dick pics."" I think ""penis portraits"" has a classy je ne sais quoi appeal."

"I think single ply toilet paper is very spiritual. I easily get in touch with my inner self."

"if you are getting the names Jon and John confused call them by their full names, Jonaldo and Johnaldo"

"Boy, do I love soccer It's the only sport where the fans are tougher then the players."

"Do you know the difference between 5 minutes of blowjob and 5 minutes of sodomy ? Do you have 10 minutes ?"

"I just saved a whole bunch of money on my car insurance by hacking into State Farm's main server and deleting the 4 DUIs."

"A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar..... He buys a drink."

"When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard? Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother."