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Joke of the Day

"A blonde woman one read that over 70% of car accidents happened within 15 minutes of home... She decided it'd be safer to live somewhere else."

"When is a door, not a door? ... when it's ajar."

"How does Donald Drumpf change a lightbulb? He doesn't. He hires people with long fingers to do it for him."

"15 out of 12 beers agree I can't do math when I'm drunk."

"A man enters a store and says: ""15 litres of wine please."" ""Did you bring a container for this?"" ""You're speaking to it."""

"Why couldn't the Italian phone salesman open up his shop... He had a Nokia"

"My fav sci-fi this year is the Bank of America ad where the 30 year old dude with a new baby has $56k in his checking account."

"Saw a man waiting for the bus who just stood there staring into the distance. It was as if he just didn't own a phone or something. Weird."

"19 showed us what he has learned at college when he asked ""can we drink screwdrivers while we are opening presents?"" *making screwdrivers*"

"Just read ""four years after pregnancy 38% of moms still were not drinking"" I think it's safe to say this survey was not done on Twitter."