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Joke of the Day

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because the B shells are too small and the D shells are too big!"

"Stand Up Comedy Yes, I actually did some stand up comedy, but I didn't like it... every time I would get up on stage to do my routine, all people ever did was laugh at me..."

"A taliban and his wife are getting ready to go to sleep at night... ...but before that, the taliban goes out to pee. He returns back all wet. ""Is it raining outside?"" ""No, it's windy..."""

"Synchronized diving would be far more interesting without the pool."

"China has blocked Twitter. Now 1.3 billion people will have no idea what I'm having for lunch."

"What do you call a person who looks at a glass half-empty? An Alcoholic."

"What sort of soup do men make most often after sex? Split pee soup. (I made it up. I'm sorry.)"

"you are doing that too much. try again in 2 minutes Guess I shared to many Redditt posts too soon Or ""that's what she said"" he he"

"""I don't know who you are, but I will find you and I will kill you and - oh sorry, wrong number."" - Liam Neeson in Mistaken"

"As we celebrate Awareness Month, please retweet this if you know anyone, or know anyone who knows anyone."