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Joke of the Day

"What did the lightbulb say to its mother? I wuv you watts and watts."

"At first, I didn't like my haircut. But then it grew on me."

"The first woman on the Moon... ""Houston, we have a problem."" ""What?"" ""Never mind."" ""What's the problem?"" ""Nothing."" ""Please tell us?"" ""You know what the problem is."""

"Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? ...her capital has been Dublin for years"

"If I've said it once, I've said it one hundred times. I'd rather listen to an auto-tuned queef played on a loop over and over, than listen to Lady Gaga's performance at the Grammy's again."

"Q: Why was the firewood punished? A: It was knotty."

"What do you call a witch who drives really badly? A road hag."

"If you put 30 female Apes and 30 male Apes in a bedroom what do you have? A very large bedroom."

"Can somebody explain to me the uproar over the CEO editing posts? I mean... what part of Chief Editing Officer don't these people understand?"

"What did Pink Floyd say to Jerry Sandusky? Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!"