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Joke of the Day

"Trump: ""Hows that Mexican mall going?"" ""Mall? We thought you said wall"" Trump: ""No way that's harsh, also hows that Muslim band looking?"""

"My superpower is acting like I'm trying to stop the elevator from shutting when more people are trying to get on without really stopping it."

"My favorite thing about myself is that I'm humble."

"I had sex with a pregnant woman last night Was also my first threesome"

"What do you get when you combine a dill pickle and a doughnut? a dildo"

"I think they need to come out with an R rated Toy Story where the mom's sex toys all come to life too. The theme song should still be ""You got a friend in me""."

"I tried to give myself a sex change operation but I couldn't pull it off."

"I saw two kids fighting on the elementary school playground... Being the only adult around, I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance."

"Everyone stop writing movies. Hollywood is just going to make every movie again every 13 years until we all die"

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? ""Broken Pencil."" ""Broken Pencil Who?"" ""Never mind, it's pointless."""