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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely? A: Because if something happens to her Bill becomes President!"

"What type of pussy does a priest get? nun"

"A Roman soldier meets another soldier on the road ""Excuse me"" the first soldier asks ""have you crossed Jesus anywhere, by any chance?"""

"So a Trabi owner pulls up to a gas station... ...and says to the attendant: ""Two windscreen wipers for my Trabi please."" The attendant replies: ""That sounds like a good deal!"""

"I don't get why people are racist... We were all white at SOME point."

"Cop: ""You been drinkin?"" Me: I'm going to dinner w/my wife's mom & 94yo granny ""You're free to go.."" Come on dude. Can't you just arrest me?"

"There's no ""i"" in denial."

"What form of hand-to-hand combat did the Nazis use? Jew Jitsu"

"President Obama had lunch today with Hillary Clinton. Hillary told the president, ""After phoning my top advisers, I think I'll run for office."" And the president said, ""I know. I listened in."""

"Joined Match.com... And all I got was a lit cigarette"