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Joke of the Day

"One day I ask my father for $5 He said $4!!!! But why you need $3 for? $2 should be enough. You know what here's $1 and bring me back half."

Next Joke
 
"Mystery In an ironic twist, Oscar Pistorious has investigators stumped."
"What do you call it when Superman craps his pants? Undy-terd."
"What do you do when your wife starts smoking? Slow down and apply lube"
"I lost my mood ring... ...I really don't know how I feel about it"
"Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it."
"Why do seagulls live by the Sea..? ..Because if they lived by the Bay, they would be bagels! Honestly this cracked me up when I first heard it."
"Why are atoms untrustworthy? They make up everything. Credit to /u/ipsokinetikon from an askreddit thread about what not to trust."
"Me: *sneezes* Mom: Remember February 17, 2009 when I told you to bring a jacket?"
"[funeral] WIDOW: ii just cant believe he's gone ME: hey [putting my hand on her shoulder] u parked ur car directly behind mine so im stuck"