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Joke of the Day

"What did the hurricane say to Hillary? I didn't know disasters can run for office"

"What was the demon arrested for? Possession."

"Hey you know how people say they hate math because it doesn't make sense? I think that is unfair because math loves them. The problem is that math shows its love by playing hard to get."

"Next time you see your therapist, see how deep into the session you can go by only saying lyrics from Creed songs."

"Sarcasm: confusing stupid people and pissing off idiots everywhere."

"The Arrogance of Authority A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher"

"Every time I meet someone new, my girlfriend gets a slap across the face. I really need to stop high-fiving people."

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far, she's only getting a McChicken."

"sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck"

"My Ex? Yea I'd still hit that.........WITH A CAR"