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Joke of the Day

"*TSA officer opens my suitcase, disembodied fist pops out and punches him* me: sry sir I forgot I packed a powerful punch *TSA guns me down*"

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will never be subjected to your stupid bumper sticker again."

"CAT HOSPITAL Q: Why did the cat go to the hospital? A: To have a CAT scan done."

"I had an imaginary girlfriend for a few years, but she ended up leaving me for my best friend. He had a bigger imagination than I did."

"Why would you rather run into a bmw driver than a cactus? Because it's easier to deal with just one prick"

"SEA LION 1: ""More like shark *weak* amirite?"" SEA LION 2: ""Hahaha"" SHARK: ""Hey guys, what ya watching?"" [Sea lions jump onto ceiling fan]"

"Apparently im amazing at managing my credit card My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding"

"How can you tell that the movie Martian is not realistic? Because Americans use imperial unit system."

"A cheetah rests its eyes under a tree... Suddenly, a Kenyan runs by. The cheetah looks up and says, ""What was that?"""

"what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Hellifikno"