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Joke of the Day
"What do crocodiles serve at dinner time? Death rolls"
Next Joke
"""Oh, we're going for a 30 second car ride? OK, let me gather all of my worldly possessions and get a little naked."" - my 2 year old"
"My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission. I guess I'll deal with him later."
"Who said chivalry is dead, I open the door at least a hundred times a day for my cat and dogs."
"[senses date is losing interest in me] ""my uncle was the guy who did the rap in Red Red Wine"""
"So I'm in Ikea.... ...and I ask the salesperson, ""Is this a finished desk?"" and she says, ""No, it's Swedish."" (edited to make more better)"
"Why women mature faster than men? Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old."
"Whats the difference between a mosquito and a hooker? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking."
"What reddit page has that link/picture you're looking for? The next page."
"What do you get when you roll weed on a dictionary? ...High Definition"