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Joke of the Day

"Two crows sitting on a fence. Attempted murder."

"How many Apple workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to over hype the new lightbulb and one to make sure it breaks within a year."

"I'll be celebrating my birthday the traditional way, by barging naked into a room full of strangers and crying."

"What's the difference between /r/jokes and your mothers vagina? Your mother's vagina gets some new content every once in a while."

"The Chinese couple sitting behind me have said one Chinese thing after another to each other for almost an hour now."

"Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage."

"Standing closer to me in line will not get you to the checkout faster."

"My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch."

"I'm going to protect my tweets on Christmas this year so Santa can't ""know when I'm not sleeping or know when I'm awake."" Take that!"

"WHat's the worst part of being a black jew? You have to sit in the back of the gas chamber"