59442

Joke of the Day

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my uncle Charlie Not kicking and screaming like the passengers on his bus"

Next Joke
 
"A man was walking in a graveyard when he spots another man crouching behind a tombstone ""Morning!"" he said The Other man replied:""No just taking a shit"""
"How many skaters does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it will take 13 attempts."
"""I'd like to make a large cash deposit"" teller: ok, how much do you have? ""Wow can't a guy just share his dreams without being pressured?"""
"[car dealership] ""it's just like walking, except now you have to move your mass AND this 2,000lb vehicle."" fred flintstone: i'll take it!"
"The reason no one likes my story about a broken pencil: It's pointless."
"The big news story tonight is about the balls being too small . . . At the state of the Union address!"
"Two elderly couple who have Alzheimers just finished having sex Male : Was it good? Female : I can't remember Male : Who are you? Sorry for the formatting sent this via my phone"
"Ladies, don't waste your time picking up guys at Chuck E Cheese. Apparently they have a ""family"" & a ""wife"" & I'm ""ruining their dinner."""
"[META] /r/germanhumour For all fans of [German humour](/r/germanhumour)."