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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell when the blonde's boyfriend's birthday is? when she has a belt-buckle imprint on her forehead"

"What did the remote controller say to the tv? I know he turns you on but man, that guy just pushes my buttons!"

"Facebook: I'm happy! Instagram: I'm pretty! Vine: I'm artsy! Pinterest: I'm crafty! Twitter: I'm lying everywhere but here."

"Heard a good joke about Hillary Clinton's email scandal TOP SECRET"

"I'm not saying four kids is too many, I'm just saying it would be kind of cool if I could melt them all down to form one kid, that's all."

"*in the corridor of the club waiting for my transitions lenses to turn back into glasses* i'll see you ladies inside"

"VIAGRA BASAL SPRAY VIAGRA ANNOUNCED A NASAL SPRAY VERSION. WILL THAT TURN GUYS INTO DICKHEADS"

"What happens when libertarians and honey badgers don't give a shit together? An ex-lax shortage"

"Divorce court is like regular court except the judge sentences you to freedom."

"The first time I had sex I cried I don't know whether it was the physical contact, emotional connection, or pepper spray but any way I teared up."