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Joke of the Day

"Watching cartoons with my son is awesome except for all the commercials & now his Christmas list has 26,724 things on it. Shit."

"What is the Phobia for chainsaws called? Common sense"

"People who quit Reddit, what is life like now?"

"If you pronounce gullible very slowly it sounds like you're saying green bears."

"What would you call Macaulay Culkin if he was black? Homie alone"

"My neighbors are having a terrible fight in the front yard. I mean hanging Christmas lights. Same."

"Me: That the new iPhone? Him: Yup! The 5S! Me: What's the difference? Him: The C stands for ""Cheap"" Me: What about the S? Him: ""'Spensive"""

"What does Jeb Bush say on the toilet? Please crap"

"Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead."

"The tennis factory near me got closed down after local residents complained... Apparently they were making a racquet."