72335

Joke of the Day

"if i was a character in a horror movie i would try to finish whatever i'm eating before i die"

"Did you hear about that proctologist who became an English teacher? Did you hear about the proctologist who became and English teacher? He specializes in teaching analogies."

"My dog has no nose. How does it smell? Awful"

"camouflage training Drill Sergeant: ""I DID NOT SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING THIS MORNING CORPORAL!!!!"" Corporal: ""Thank you sir."""

"What do you call an article written about a dead astronaut? An *orbit*-tuary!"

"Two hipsters walked into a bar. One did it before it was cool and the second did it ironically."

"A guy walks into a bar. He sees a pirate with a steering wheel in his pants. The guy asks ""Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"". The pirate says ""I don't know but its driving me nuts!""."

"I went to the store to buy 50ft of rope. The guy at the store said ""This spool of rope is on clearance for only $2. It's 500ft long."" ""Nah man"" I said ""I hate long good buys."""

"The Irish Alligator His name was Croc O'Dile."

"How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho-path."