59092
Joke of the Day
"My Valentine is like the square root of -100... A 10, but imaginary"
Next Joke
"The good news is, it turns out there is literally nothing we can say here that will ruin our chances at a political career."
"My cheating Ex-girlfriend just got fired for drinking on the job. She worked at the sperm bank."
"God has cursed me with thoughts that come in 147 characters."
"Last night, I had a dream that I was walking on a white sandy beach... At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning..."
"Never assume anything but the position."
"Having a wife is like a grenade You pull the ring off, and your house is gone."
"Why did the bubblegum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's legs."
"[having sex with centaur] ME: *man that fortune cookie was spooky accurate*"
"If wrestlers have biceps, and bodybuilders have triceps, what do surgeons have? Forceps (I hate my shit life)"