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Joke of the Day

"Why did God only make one yogi bear He tried to make another but made a boo-boo"

"What is a specimen? An Italian astronaut."

"I couldn't decide how much lettuce to buy Until someone helped me think it through. Turns out, two heads are better than one."

"Why do parents love BB-8 so much? He is a great role model."

"How do you know when there is a bassist at your door? He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in."

"What's the difference between a ginger girl and a vampire? One bursts into flames in the sunlight, and the other is a vampire."

"They say I have cancer and Alzheimers... But at least I don't have cancer!"

"Daughter announced there will be rain for Thanksgiving. We usually have turkey but with her cooking skills rain will taste better."

"What do you call a retarded Jew? Auschwitistic"

"""Sir, the good news is that your colon looks great. Maybe even the best I've ever seen. The bad news is that I'm just a hobo with a hobby."""