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Joke of the Day

"I asked a Southeast-Asian-looking elderly gentleman if he was from Thailand. He said, ""Yeah, Siam."""

"Pregnancy is like politics you vomit a lot and at the end you get something you don't want."

"I swallowed two pieces of string last night and this morning they came out of my ass tied together I shit you knot"

"""I piss off a lot of deaf people when I talk"" -Italians"

"The hardest part of Hypochondriacs Anonymous is admitting you don't have a problem."

"So two cannibals are eating dinner... The first turns to the second man and says ""Wow, your wife sure does make a great roast!"" The second replied ""I know, I'm really gonna miss her."""

"Here's a joke about my senior year of college. I tried."

"*cute person sends me a selfie* *tries 897285623895 times to take a cute selfie to send back to them*"

"""She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts."" -Romans 1:15"

"So Rick Perry drops his presidential bid Today.. I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions."