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Joke of the Day

"There is nothing funny about PMS **.**"

"May I have a quick word with you? Velocity"

"My uncle went to Ireland on holidays but didn't have time to go to Clare. He really wanted to see Moher"

"My brother committed suicide and didn't leave a note. How inconsiderate of him. I mean, would it have killed him to leave a note?"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I wouldn't pay 40 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I fought the law, and it turns out they have better resources than I do."

"What's the difference between OP and a brick? A brick gets laid!"

"I've squirted this entire bottle of No More Tears shampoo in this babies face, he's still crying, babysitting is hard."

"Francois Hollande."

"My sheep friends asked me to find them some drugs so I went to the local animal dealer... Pablo Escobaaaaaa"