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Joke of the Day

"Me: Sometimes I wish I wasn't shy and introverted Alcohol: I'VE GOT GREAT NEWS!"

"I met my grandmother in Mexico She looked familia."

"What monsters are all the tools in the toolbox afraid of? Vampliers"

"What do you call Korean soul food? Okra Gangnam Style"

"Everyone's all worried about World War III. Worry about the important shit. Batman's fighting Superman in 2016."

"*boss stops meeting* Mike, is there something you'ld like to share with the whole group? Me: Nooooo, that's why I whispered it to Alan."

"Today, I made the little things count by teaching math to midgets....."

"I dropped my electric toothbrush in the garbage disposal and accidentally co-produced a Skrillex album."

"I got into a fight with my erection this morning. I beat it single handedly."

"How do you find the PC user in the coffee shop? Follow the power cord."