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Joke of the Day

"Instagram is experiencing difficulties. Until further notice, please cease visually chronicling the tedious mundanities of your life."

"Chivalry I want to name my child Chivalry. Because I am not good and taking care of children. So no one will be suprised when I say Chivalry is dead."

"Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church Priest says 'you're not allowed in here! Get out!' Higgs Boson looks at him confused, 'but without me you can't have mass.'"

"Why are librarians so shy? Their occupation makes them very shelf conscious."

"Him: My voice is a little hoarse. Me: You have a pony?! Him: ... Me: ... Him: ... Me: I wish I had a pony. *pouts*"

"A Muslim walks into a bar. No one survived the blast."

"Sweet Potato Philosophy ""I think therefore I yam."""

"Why did the bee go to the doctor? Because he had hives Badum tsh"

"Text: OMG! I can't believe you tweet such vile, offensive, filthy, sick things. You should be removed from society. GET HELP! Love Mom XO"

"It's impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone."