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Joke of the Day

"*agrees with someone online* Yeah, I agree. *disagrees with someone online* YOU'RE NOT JUST WRONG YOU'RE HITLER AND I HATE YOU FOREVER"

"I'll never forget where I was when I found out I have Alzheimer's"

"What advice to cows give? Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!"

"Currently the most offensive joke going through my head. What did the female Marine get moments after she was gang raped by her fellow Marines? A Dishonourable Discharge."

"How do you capture a polar bear? 1. Dig a hole in the ice. 2. Place a bunch of peas around the hole 3. When the bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole."

"Cinderella walks into a bar... ""I'd like a glass of shoes, please"""

"<Put your title here> May be NSFW Isn't it crazy how there is a band called one direction, because that's what I named my asshole as a teen."

"My Girlfriend Called Me A Pedophile... I said: ""That's an awfully big word for a 6 year old!"""

"Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list... It's a pretty bad state of affairs"

"Since We're Doing Pirate Jokes. What Does Every Pirate Hate? A small chest with no booty."