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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop a woman giving you head? Marry her."

"Home is where your wi-fi connects automatically."

"I was going to copy and paste a joke but then I cut it"

"What gets all sweaty as it rides on top of you? Your backpack."

"I'm very patient in the way that I can last 45 minutes trying to fix something before I have to pound the shit out of it with a hammer."

"What is yellow and goes click-click? A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older? Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:"

"What do you get when you cross a raccoon, and a steam roller? Rascal Flatts."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture. -.-"

"Knock knock? Who's there? Dr Who. WHICH Dr Who?"

"Illegal immigrants can never get a cold drink. They don't want to be anywhere near ICE."