57822

Joke of the Day

"What's your mom's favorite bird? A cock or two."

"Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant? They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, ""That'll be $5"". I should be able to say, ""That'll be a sandwich."""

"How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year? Not too well considering they can't finish a race."

"That moment. You're driving, music blaring singing at the top of your lungs. You're a rockstar till the music cuts out & you hear your voice"

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field."

"The Bermuda Triangle A.K.A.... Clinton's Inbox"

"Don't call it a comeback.. .. It's mostly in your hair."

"What is the difference between a vacuum and a snowboarder? How you strap on the dirtbag."

"I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner All it was doing was gathering dust."

"Reminding Dad I'm too old for adoption really bums him out because that was one of his favorite threats when I was growing up"