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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Time Traveler give Julius Caeser a BJ? He wanted to go down on history."

"What do you call a White Woman that has had over 4 Abortions? Income Equality activist"

"Why did the cannibal stab the chef with a toothpick? To see if he was done cooking."

"""Are you seeing anyone?"" Me: lately I've been seeing this squiggly floaty thing on my peripheral vision. Floaty thing: We're just friends."

"How to make a girl furious in 2 steps... Step 1, take a picture of her Step 2, don't show it to her"

"Man bumps into my shoulder ""You're lucky this isn't the Internet pal"""

"Sure the Michael Jordan underpants are good, but a lot of it is Scotty Pippen. He defends the balls."

"A cop stopped a guy for speeding... He said, ""I have been waiting all day for someone like you."" And the guy answered, ""That's why I wanted to be here as fast as possible !"""

"So I caught up with my mexican friend ..He told me that his wife give birth to their first son, just the other day. I said ""Jesus really?!"" He replied with ""Nah, his name's Jose."""

"I'm taking the soul train to Funky Town with my boogie shoes on, and the dish ran away with the goddamn spoon. This is really good weed."