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Joke of the Day
"TIFU in the shower Although I still think Up is a strange name for a dog..."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Chinese man with one leg shorter than the other? Li Ning"
"What's the difference between Stephen Harper and Rob Ford? One likes pipelines, and the other likes pipes *and* lines."
"I buy a lot of ringtones for someone who hasn't answered a phone call since 2008."
"Baby detective: These stab wounds here, they- *coroner covers the body with a sheet* Baby: OH MY GOD. THE BODY! ITS GONE! WHERE DID IT GO"
"My son claims he ""loves me,"" but the contents with which he fills diapers he KNOWS I'LL BE CHANGING suggests otherwise."
"[date] ME: do you have kids or pets? HER: a son and a cat ME: what are their names? HER: John & Batman ME: nice! my son is also named Batman"
"Why should you be scared of a white person in prison? Because they are most certainly guilty."
"GYM Man: ""Can you spot me?"" Me: ""Sure"" Man: *Throwing down towel* ""Invisibility cloak my ass"""
"Maybe tomorrow I'll do that thing I said I'd do yesterday."