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Joke of the Day

"What do Bristol Palin and the Virgin Mary have in common?"

"My teenage son Filbert was ejected from the Young Republicans for naming his pet lizard Bernie Salamanders. You bet your buns he's grounded."

"My friends think I should stop telling jokes because my punchlines are always shit. Shit."

"Did you hear about the new movie about the Nazi with a speech impediment? Schindler's Lisp"

"Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she's a woman"

"Could have sworn my poo just shouted a vile obscenity at me on the way out. Irritable bowel syndrome."

"I'll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working..."

"I can't believe Penn State took the Joe Paterno Statue down. They should have just turned it so it looked the other way."

"I don't worry about Friday the 13th. It's bad luck to be superstitious."

"How do you know the blind exist... if they've never been sighted?"