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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust? The vulture laid ten eggs and when they hatched nine chicks had wooden legs and the tenth was a woodpecker."

Next Joke
 
"4yo: I want to play squirt guns Me: You mean when you squirt me all day and laugh, and if I squirt you, you cry? 4yo: YES Me: Okay, let's go"
"If Trump wins, why should you move to Mexico instead of Canada? Because there'll be an actual wall keeping you from Trump"
"What did the redditor do with the embarrassing naked picture he found of himself? Throwaway, for obvious reasons."
"My car was making this annoying sound . . . . . . so I went to see a mechanic. Me: My car is making an annoying sound. Mechanic: Easy fix. Reach over. Open the door. And push her out."
"Washing clothes feels so old fashioned. I mean, who separates whites and colours anymore."
"Any jokes about failed startups?"
"I once slept through a burglary. Next thing I knew I was in the back of a police van."
"My car has a GPS, but when I get lost I still usually just end up busting out a globe"
"What is a crevice that is owned by someone and not allowed to be stepped into? None of your abyss-ness"