57656

Joke of the Day

"Just spent 5 minutes waving my hands in front of a manual paper towel dispenser if anyone needs someone to take their SAT exam for them."

"WIFE: [handing me crying baby] will u please change him ME: ok [drives to hospital] ME: hi yes my baby is crying can i get a new one"

"""Do you know what the hardest part of the night is?"" asked the taxi driver. ""Is it his shield?"" I asked."

"I asked Princess Leia why her and Han weren't going to make it... She said it is because ""Han shot first."""

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your dick down a whore's throat."

"I like my women like I like my coffee ground up and easily dissolved."

"*watches you carefully arrange the piles of paperwork on your desk *waits for you to finish *sets fan to ""oscillate"""

"What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much ? A beer-a-cuda !"

"What's the easiest way to confuse an anthropologist? Hold up a used tampon and ask him to identify which period it's from"

"Donald Trump used to enjoy having first wife Ivana.... sit on his knees so he could raise and lower her. Guess not the first time he bounced a Czech."