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Joke of the Day

"Just spent 5 minutes waving my hands in front of a manual paper towel dispenser if anyone needs someone to take their SAT exam for them."

"There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who can count in binary, those who can't and those who weren't expecting this joke to be in base three."

"How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?"

"Did you hear what ubisoft rated assassins creed black flag? They rated it ARrrrrrrr 16."

"[to widow] Great wake. Tho it should be called a sleep, he's not moved in ages. I say he hasn't moved in ages. Call it a sleep. Ah cheer up."

"You couldn't even imagine how good I am at taking a fake phone call to get out of a boring conversation. It's Oscar worthy."

"Yo mamma's so old that... ...back in her day, old spice was just called spice!"

"At the end of the day, it's 11:59pm."

"Which came first: the chicken or the egg? The rooster"

"Seals are just dog mermaids."