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Joke of the Day

"Olympic Sailing results are in! Denmark have taken gold Finland have taken silver Somalia have taken a middle aged couple who were on a worldwide cruise"

"Why did the man keep reloading the picture of the candy cane at the potluck? He was in charge of refresh mints."

"What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes? A LexiCon"

"What's worse than an overthinker .... Sorry I didn't think this part through..."

"Q: What did a blind boy's parent's do to punish him? A: Rearranged the furniture"

"why do sandwich fillings look weird ? Cos they're in bread"

"mom hates dad My mother used to be a ventriliquist.. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father"

"my 10 year high school reunion is in August which means I have 2 months to lose 40 pounds and get engaged to Michael Cera"

"Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine."

"What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet? Underlay! Underlay!"