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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fat town Obe-CITY"

"People mistook me for a racist Some people at the park had assumed I was a racist because they thought I had said ""sand nigger"" Really what I said was; ""Get out of the sand, nigger."""

"How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months"

"For the first time ever I find Hillary relatable. I'm not president either."

"Hagrid is so fat The Sorting Hat put him in the Waffle House"

"*Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* ""My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"""

"The first time Chuck Norris ever played Counter Strike, he no-scope headshoted a terrorist through the walls from across the map on CS_Dust 2...... with a knife."

"A math teacher had a bird, and he trained it to talk. One day it escaped, and he yelled out the window, ""Polly gone! Polly gone!"""

"When god created Adam, she said: ""I've got good news and bad news.... ...good news is, I'm giving you a penis AND a brain. Bad news is, I'm only giving you enough blood to use one at a time."""

"Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years."