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Joke of the Day

"Ever been to a bulimic's birthday party? (fixed) The cake jumps out of the girl."

"I used to assume most people were bright, kind, and at least somewhat informed. Then social media was invented."

"Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me... that was the wine. Me: ... Her: ... Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?"

"Did you guys hear about the man with the wooden leg named Smith? I don't think he named is other leg..."

"What do you call an angle that is cute ? Acute angle."

"What did the duck say to the bartender put it on my bill"

"Why are there no nice cars in heaven? Because abortions float."

"Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and I have to say i'm really disappointed."

"If you ever go skydiving and your parachute doesn't open don't worry You have the rest of your life to fix it"

"The ""letters to the editor"" page of your local newspaper is like Twitter for the elderly."