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Joke of the Day

"What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there? Arrrh, it's driving me nuts"

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"The Little Mermaid (1989) The story of a girl who realizes that she should change EVERYTHING about herself to land a good man..."
"Wanna hear my favorite 4/20 joke? Heh... what?"
"Never make plans with an executioner. They always leave you hanging. Or cut your head off or something like that"
"I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbour mowing his lawn. He will just have to mow around me because I'm not moving.."
"How to leave someone on the edge of their seat:"
"Looked at my pores in a 10x magnifying mirror and immediately cancelled my plans for the month."
"What's the difference between an apple an a dead baby? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it"
"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So they aren't mistaken for feminists."
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use a urinal? Because the p is silent."