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Joke of the Day

"A blind man walks into a Fifty Shades of Grey theater takes a deep breath and says "" MMM ... I guess I'm at a fish market"""

"How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb? They can't, they're not bright enough."

"I used to date an anaesthetist... She was a local girl. [credit to seeing this on QI]"

"Why don't feminists carry handguns? Because of the triggers"

"I can already hear the birds judging me for sleeping till noon tomorrow."

"TIL Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger. He has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right."

"Men domesticated dogs to have a friend. Cats to eradicate the pests of the home. But we are still trying to domesticate women for easy reproduction."

"My bra is off, my pajamas are on, my hair is up. I'm not sure if I'm going to bed, or to Walmart."

"An invisible man marries an invisible woman... The kids weren't much to look at!"

"Two atoms are talking: ""Help, somebody has stolen one of my electrons!"" ""Are you sure?"" ""Yes, I'm positive!"""