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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip? Bring two Mormons."

"(NSFW) They've finally published my self-help book about having sex with herbs It's about fucking thyme."

"I just picked up the Germanwings iPhone app... When I switched on airplane mode, it locked me out of the phone and then crashed."

"What did A and B look for at the beach? A ""C"" gull!"

"POLLY GETS A CRACKER WHEN HE STOPS REFERRING TO HIMSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON, and not a moment before. Stupid bird."

"My girlfriend is like the temperature of a molecule. Doesn't exist by definition."

"How do stories from Justin Biebers early childhood begin? ""A few months ago"

"I've never falsely accused someone of hacking, whether aimbotting, wall hacking, or speed hacking They were all just really good at hiding it!"

"TIFU by firing a torpedo at an ally submarine Whoops, wrong sub."

"Did you hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway? Authorities are still trying to piece everything together..."