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Joke of the Day

"How do stories from Justin Biebers early childhood begin? ""A few months ago"

Next Joke
 
"Why was the Planters employee fired? He was fucking nuts."
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"Somebody was trying to break into my house last night, so I rang the police... But Sting said he was busy and suggested I ring the actual police."
"How does a woman apologize to a man? I'm sorry, but it's your fault."
"So I the ceo of apple came out as gay I guess their iphones really are bent"
"ME: *smashes bottle into a ship* MAN: Oh cool, what are you naming it? ME: I'm not *smashes another bottle* I just hate ships"
"want to hear a joke about pizza? nevermind... it's too cheesy"
"You'll never know how creative you really are until you need to start lying to your kids."