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Joke of the Day

"I didn't sleep very good last night... So I put some Monster Energy drink in my coffee this morning. I got halfway to work before before I realised I forgot my car."

"Uniformed personnel walk a fine line between being ignorant and being out of shape. Add a letter and they're uninformed. Take one away and they're unformed."

"There was a man who was arrested for masturbating in a public library... He came quietly."

"I was arrested on my way to school today on suspicion of being a terrorist Turns out I bombed the test"

"[HR office] HR: you know why you're here, right? Me: HR: you can't ""contract"" Down's Syndrome & you can't call in sick with it"

"This is the way Reddit ends. Not with a bang, but with a Pao."

"After working retail I've discovered that there are two types of people in the world Those who can read signs, and customers."

"My boyfriend asked for a nude pic (NSFW) My boyfriend asked for a naked picture. I asked him if he wanted to see tits or ass. He responded ""surprise me"" So I sent him a picture of my dick"

"""You're more likely to be killed in a car wreck than eaten by a shark."" The shark made a convincing argument, so I got out of the cage."

"If We Need Someone To Run Our Country Based On Building A Buisness And Money We Have The Wrong Donald. We Need Ronald Mc'Donald."