57046

Joke of the Day

"[board meeting] ""So Mr Parachute do u have a name for your invention?"" ""I call it the 'Makes the Ground Come at You a Bit Slower'."" ""Uh no."""

Next Joke
 
"Why is it that when a guy nails a ton of girls, he's called a stud... ...but when he nails a ton of studs, he's in construction?"
"I get so excited when someone brings out the cake at a birthday party because that means I can leave soon."
"this asian is Hannibal Lecter At the animal shelter"
"Since yesterday was the National Day of Prayer, today must be the National Day of Disappointment."
"My dad died of severe hemorrhaging, and my best friend was disabled by ischemia. Different strokes for different folks, I guess."
"Q: Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder? A: So he could shoot his mouth off."
"4:*calls thing wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*repeats wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*maintains eye contact and repeats wrong name slowly"
"How many Freudian Analysts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. One to screw it in and the other to hold the penis---ladder!! I meant ladder..."
"Why did Snoop Dog go to cinnabon? Fo' Drizzle"