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Joke of the Day

"How many Freudian Analysts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. One to screw it in and the other to hold the penis---ladder!! I meant ladder..."

"Apparently ""if you must draw your eyebrows on, please draw them evenly"" was not the tip this waitress was expecting."

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you criticize,you are a mile away from them & have their shoes"

"*whispers to an avocado* ""I'm the good kind of fat, too."""

"Me: nice car Friend: yeah 400 horsepower Me: that's like 7000 ducks Friend: what Me: what"

"It's so cold... I saw a gangsta pulling up his pants"

"You may be cool.. ...but you'll never be -274 C cool."

"Which French novelist looked like a scrotum? Balzac"

"What do you call a horny dog in the kitchen? A fur-tile bitch"

"why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? Because you shouldn't press your luck."