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Joke of the Day

"What did the boy with no hands get for christmas? Gloves! Just kidding, I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet."

"I wish I had remembered this was a rectal thermometer before I'd put it in my mouth for 3 minutes."

"why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? because he was far out."

"What Do You Call An Israelite On The Himalayas? Mountain Jew."

"What do you call a crappy business man? an Entre""manure"""

"A man asked me, which is worse, ignorance or apathy? I told him, ""I don't know, and I don't care."""

"I think that pedophiles are fucking immature assholes"

"What's better than eating a mandarin? Eating Amanda out."

"I hate when people say 'I died laughing', and don't die."

"I can't spell armugedon... But it's not the end of the world."