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Joke of the Day

"Dentist: this is gonna hurt a lot Me: ok Dentist: I've been sleeping with your wife"

"My doctor told me I should be on a staple diet. I told him I don't think I can digest metal and walked out."

"Have you ever wanted to make a difference? WELL THEN GO TO A FUCKING MATH CLASS YOU FUCK"

"Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt"

"I was caught after ditching a cab without paying... I was charged with Taxi Evasion."

"A man walks into a bell tower and shoots 16 people... America responds by restricting access to bell towers."

"The Clinton Foundation is like my ex-wife. They keep 94% of the money and still don't feed the kids."

"Q: You're sailing on a boat with a pack of cigarettes, but do not have a fire source, what do? A: Throw one overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter."

"Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage? Because it has long-distance runners on each side."

"If I were a manager at Stabucks I would be like, ""You showed up latte for work today!"" then when the laughing stops, ""but no, you're fired."""